Navigating The Holidays: Addiction Reflection Journal December 2024
Moving into the holiday season, as we approach 2025, I’m reflecting on all the pain that the holidays used to bring me as a major time of numbing out with hard drugs. This wasn’t just a me thing, as several studies have confirmed drug and alcohol use spikes during the holidays. To me, the essential piece of the addiction recovery conversation is the need to find peer support in flipping the script and changing the plot of your story. When I was an active user, there was no end of people to hang out with; my phone always rang, and I was rarely alone. You don’t need to be ready to quit drugs to take the first step towards living a healthier, more fulfilling life. The first phase of my recovery was quitting the illicit substances. I am now seven-plus years sober from cocaine and opiates, and as of this November, seven years sober from Suboxone. Don’t stay parked on subs just because your doctor tells you it’s safer for you than not. They are keeping you addicted to opiates. You can detox safely with time no matter how much or how long you used dope.
I can remember once in 2016, hosting a big house show, and a friend’s band who traveled from Savannah dedicated Shania Twains’ “If It Makes You Happy” to me “wherever I was” for inviting them to play as a major wake-up moment looking back. The drugs had begun as a way of enhancing the music, but now the chase had become the replacement for the fun that was music-centered before.
Quitting the illicit substances was the first phase of my recovery, and I was determined to quit these two substances entirely, with reduction of use not an option. My use of both substances started at 18 years old lasting until I was 25. After intentionally following in my rock and roll idols' shoes, I knew I wouldn’t make it to 27. When Prince died from the same pills that I was taking daily, my wake-up came as I didn’t want to meet the myth hanging heavy over me, to quote Robin Pecknold. When Tom Petty died in 2017, I was still taking suboxone, and it was fuel to a sobriety fire; with Richard Swift the following year and David Berman’s suicide in 2019, I was firmly committed to continuing change. In the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic in May 2020, seeking solace, I explored various medicinal ceremonial agents in the warm late evening air while still living on James Island and, in the process, wrote my own personal philosophy. The first lines were about quitting taking Adderall, Klonopin, and eating meat. That day, I tried to stop taking my Klonopin, but it was a long process, one that was even harder than quitting opiates. I had been prescribed Klonopin since I was 18 and Adderall since I was 14; they were my -function-. I don’t talk about this plant very much, but Kratom helped me a lot in quitting suboxone, Klonopin, and Adderall. I highly recommend you try this plant if you want to reduce your intake of pharmaceuticals. As long as you don't abuse it, it's a great option. Use it to quit the hard stuff, and then quit it too. I haven't looked back after taking my last Klonopin circa October 2021. Today, I am three-plus years sober from all prescription drugs, but I have eaten meat on a handful of celebratory occasions but still exclude it from my diet as well.
If you are looking for lasting change, the first thing you need to change is your cast of supporting characters to kick off the recovery process. Most of my friends who did not get sober or find success staying sober didn't understand this part. Choosing not to associate with someone doesn't mean you wish them ill will. It just means they are not conducive to change and moving forward. What makes this more complicated is that many old, healthy friends won't want to see the new you after recovery and attempts to mend the bridges you've burned living with addiction. To them, it is old dog new tricks, and the most crucial aspect to returning to your pre-addiction self is finding new people to see and hear you for who you are and not just who you were. There is no reaching the shores of liberation from the shackles of narcotic addiction if you don't rearrange the sea around you.
Homecoming event details coming soon!
Spread Peace & Love
Will
